chemo 10

For the first time I legitimately thought about just not going and staying in my bed and completely blowing chemo off. I wanted to pretend this wasn’t happening. That I was already done and on the road to having my hair back. To having my life back. But, sadly chemo isn’t something you can ever blow off because it’s the one and only way I can keep my life. I still have a body that’s trying to kill me and as much as I forgot that while living my life - it’s still the dark truth.

With the Thanksgiving holiday my infusion center was closed on Friday. This meant my entire schedule shifted to ensure I didn’t have two weeks off from chemo. I now have infusions on Mondays instead of Fridays. I don’t like change. It took some time to recalculate in my head when my new good days would be and adjust to starting the week with the hardest task instead of finishing it off and flowing to the weekend.

I didn’t have any doctor’s appointments for 10 consecutive days. The first time in three months - my life was my own. I had a phenomenal weekend away with my girls. A delicious Thanksgiving with my bestie and mom. And a fun filled weekend celebrating friend’s birthdays and feeling like a normal woman. It was a dream world of 10 days and by the weekend after Thanksgiving I was feeling even better and more back to myself. Then, bam, back to cancer land. Which, this is a preview of shifting to treatment every three weeks when we start the red devil.

Despite not wanting to go - I went. Chemo 10 went off without a hitch. My cell counts were higher so we did a full dose of the Taxol. We still decreased the Carbo because my fingertips are now pretty non existent (numb).

I only have 2 more weeklies and 6 total chemo treatments left! Some day this will all just be a blip on the radar and I cannot wait for that day.