chemo 8 - half way mark

I am officially halfway through Chemo!!!!!!! Only 8 chemos left and only 4 weeklies!!! But, oh boy, 8 definitely hit me like a ton of bricks. The fatigue was more intense than anything I’ve experienced. My fingers and hands are numb for half the week now. My taste is ruined - therefore it’s hard to really have any appetite. I’m thankful though that by Wednesdays I’m pretty much back to normal still.

My cell counts were a little low so we did a 25% reduction in treatment for round 8. It seems the week after my Keytruda infusion (the immunotherapy) my counts drop. I’m unsure of why, though. I’ll ask my oncologist.

I’ll have next week off for the holiday - the infusion center is closed! We won’t be rescheduling because that will throw off my entire schedule. My oncologist said she builds in up to 3 missed treatments for various reasons so the fact that I haven’t missed one yet is a win!

Starting on 12/17 my treatments will be every 3 weeks and I will start the Red Devil. Oh boy! It’s dubbed the Red Devil because it’s red and it’s the devil - obviously. My sweet surgical oncologist said “it’ll be a kick in the teeth” so this will be fun. My hope is that my body will be just as sweet to me as it has been for the Carbo/Taxol weeklies and the side effects won’t be as bad. But, I’ve already had some sleepless nights as the start date looms closer and closer. There’s just something about a bright red toxin that can burn skin being pushed directly into the largest vein in my body closest to my heart.

But, back to the now! I FINALLY got a wig that I actually feel like myself in. This was a big hurdle. Between insurance delays and the wig shop telling me long wigs were impossible - I was more than frustrated. But, finally, they came through!! After a week wait for this to come in they put her on and I immediately burst into tears!!! I saw myself, the real me, in the mirror again.

Mirrors are hard. It’s a reminder of the reality that I’m a damn cancer patient. It still doesn’t feel real. It feels good to see that I’m still here and still so very much me.

I’ll keep swimming and getting through these weeks day by day!