no evidence
I was standing on the edge of a cliff with my little toes hanging over. One big gust of wind to just knock me free falling down, unsure of when I’d hit the ground, but I knew it was coming. Except, now I’m a few more steps back. Away from the imminent danger. I can take a pause and relish that I’m still here.
WE DID IT!!!! For once, I got really damn lucky!!!! I have been flying high since the news yesterday. But, let me back up a little to better explain how we got here because I know this was a surprise to some.
Most receive the NED (no evidence of disease) news shortly after their mastectomy. After aggressive chemo and then removing all of the tissue, getting clear margins, doctors announce they are NED. I didn’t get that news. My doctors were more worried after my mastectomy and tumor’s pathology report. When my surgeon insisted on a PET scan immediately (which is 2 weeks in hospital timing) I was scared. This scan, which occurred on my birthday, would either show No Evidence of Disease, or additional cancer left in my breast area, or mets somewhere else within the body. The chances were fairly high that I would be diagnosed as metastatic. My oncologist even outlined what treatment would look like if there were tumors in other areas.
But thanks to good vibes, prayers, modern medicine, and really just good luck - I’m NED!!!!!! I’m trying not to say cancer free too much because, really, no one will ever know. Terms are tricky but important in the cancer world. From MDAnderson on this:
“… “remission” and “no evidence of disease” (also known as NEOD or NED) are probably the closest by definition. Officially, both mean that no cancer is currently detectable in the body. That may be based on scans, bloodwork or some other kind of test, such as a breast biopsy or a bone marrow biopsy.
“Cancer-free” is a little more complicated, because it’s not based on something we can measure. Instead, it implies that not only is there nothing detectable in your body as cancer, but we also believe no residual cancer is left anywhere, so there’s no chance of the cancer ever coming back. And that’s a lot trickier to say, because there’s always at least a very slight risk of recurrence, if you’ve ever had cancer before.”
No matter the term - this is HUGE!!!!!! I relief and an honor. A lot of people with breast cancer will never hear this news or feel this high. I am thankful.
This doesn’t mean I get to run free and “move on” with my life. I still have a lot of treatment ahead. We need to work aggressively to keep this body cancer free. I’ll still be in active treatment for the next year - radiation, targeted biologic therapies, and even chemo pills. But, my hair will still grow and symptoms should still be mild. I won’t get to have reconstructive surgery until next Spring, most likely. Cancer is still a big part of my world - but its threat is diminishing. 0
