signs
I think it’s safe to say I might be the most anxious person. I am anxious about everything - always mapping in my brain what is the worst thing that could happen and how can I prevent it or prepare for if it does happen? With being an anxious person I tend to worry about things that likely would never happen. And with that is minimizing my own worries, or other people in my life minimizing my worries. Most often people reacting like I’m crazy for thinking this way off thing could ever really happen. And sometimes they are right.
Well, this came out of left field. I wasn’t all that worried. Cancer wasn’t a big concern to me. It was something that happened to other families. Other people’s tragedy - I had already had enough of my own. My brain somehow created this false world where we all have our lot in life and mine wouldn’t be a huge life threatening illness.
Ha! I was wrong.
I stumbled across this large lump only a month after my annual gyn exam - so I was sure that it was nothing because my doctor would have felt it!
Some signs I missed at no fault of my own and I know that within my soul. These are things I have since learned and I should have taken my breasts more seriously.
Assymetric breasts - aka they almost suddenly weren’t even anymore. I noticed this when starting Pure Barre classes again. In the mirror during weight work I noticed my right boob was just a little lower than my left. I chalked it up to getting older - sigh. Also, I couldn’t really remember which boob was bigger than the other in general.
Pain - a lot of people say cancer isn’t painful. This is bullshit. My right nipple hurt. Like I could only imagine this is what breastfeeding must feel like. It hurt around my period a lot. Like a t-shirt brushing against it was painful. But then, when I did find the lump, that really started to gradually hurt as well. The pain was kind of comforting because in my ignorance I thought it was more of a sign of a cyst. This is not the case. Breast cancer can be painful. Especially once it has spread to the lymph nodes.
Normalcy - this is a BIG one. I didn’t do breast exams. I didn’t know what my breasts felt like when normal so any small change I also didn’t notice. This is common for women under 40 and a leading cause why younger women are diagnosed at later stages of cancer. Feel your boobs on the first of every month. It’s a step I never knew I needed to take but could have saved me a lot of treatment time. I ONLY felt my lump because my loofah needed replacing so I was using my hands in the shower for one day.
Lumps - okay, obviously! But for real, I felt this giant lump and ignored it for a month. Assuming it’s a cyst. When I say ignored it I mean I googled it, told everyone I know, and every other day felt it. But, I just felt that it would go away with my next cycle. Surprise… it didn’t.
I am one of the very few lucky women who had a doctor that immediately called in for a diagnostic ultrasound and mammogram. He was confident it was a cyst or an injury to my breast tissue but wanted to be safe. Most women end up on antibiotics for weeks before getting a diagnostic ultrasound and mammo.
So ladies, get to feeling your boobies on the reg. Know what your tits feel like so that you can identify any changes as soon as possible. And, don’t let the world make you feel crazy for being worried.
